He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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