i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
