I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Houston, we have a blender
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
