If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
