I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize