But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
