mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
