If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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