Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
