I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
