How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
