I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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