Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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