I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
