why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
