All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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