Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
