We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
