i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
