THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
