ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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