is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
