I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
