i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize