A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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