i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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