I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
