How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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