What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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