i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
