Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah