Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.

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(504): Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair. http://tfl.nu/39w1

Replies (25) Good night (983) Bad night (7061)
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(917): View more from New York City

you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar

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(917): you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar http://tfl.nu/kodl

Replies (29) Good night (7229) Bad night (900)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.

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(609): So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that. http://tfl.nu/rpbd

Replies (33) Good night (5738) Bad night (1249)
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(513): View more from Ohio

im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know

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(513): im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know http://tfl.nu/k4xw

Replies (11) Good night (3833) Bad night (1854)
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(256): View more from Alabama

just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level

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(256): just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level http://tfl.nu/5gsk

Replies (8) Good night (3032) Bad night (1116)
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(770): View more from Georgia

There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.

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(770): There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry. http://tfl.nu/klio

Replies (9) Good night (4056) Bad night (951)
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(305): View more from Florida

she said she was living bicuriously through me.

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(305): she said she was living bicuriously through me. http://tfl.nu/luix

Replies (14) Good night (4115) Bad night (1106)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.

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(701): so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick. http://tfl.nu/5ub0

Replies (12) Good night (3955) Bad night (965)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach

(630): View more from Illinois

Me toooooo!! Margaritas

(773): View more from Illinois

I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good

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(773): Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach (630): Me toooooo!! Margaritas (773): I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good http://tfl.nu/3y14

Replies (53) Good night (1388) Bad night (3924)
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(217): View more from Illinois

not the best booty call

(1-217): View more from Illinois

did she squirt?

(217): View more from Illinois

only if tears count

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(217): not the best booty call (1-217): did she squirt? (217): only if tears count http://tfl.nu/kmd7

Replies (7) Good night (909) Bad night (3395)
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(802): View more from Vermont

when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.

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(802): when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table. http://tfl.nu/81fa

Replies (12) Good night (2449) Bad night (1054)
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(949): View more from California

the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?

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(949): the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real? http://tfl.nu/2sta

Replies (2) Good night (1813) Bad night (427)
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(954): View more from Florida

in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.

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(954): in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine. http://tfl.nu/pi7u

Replies (2) Good night (976) Bad night (506)
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(516): View more from New York

Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.

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(516): Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips. http://tfl.nu/dsdr

Replies (4) Good night (762) Bad night (452)
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(440): View more from Ohio

She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her

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(440): She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her http://tfl.nu/q6nk

Replies (1) Good night (238) Bad night (621)

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