She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time