I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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