Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.

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  (310): i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin. http://tfl.nu/cawx
  Replies (3) Good night (1417) Bad night (512)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter

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  (419): with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter http://tfl.nu/l06j
  Replies (3) Good night (1325) Bad night (687)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Duck Duck Cougar?

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  (602): Duck Duck Cougar? http://tfl.nu/gtca
  Replies (2) Good night (2749) Bad night (564)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!

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  (503): I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!! http://tfl.nu/reo6
  Replies (25) Good night (3146) Bad night (771)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight

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  (740): Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook. (740): Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight http://tfl.nu/qdoi
  Replies (23) Good night (762) Bad night (2897)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...

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  (936): im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses... http://tfl.nu/w5rv
  Replies (6) Good night (3723) Bad night (971)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.

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  (705): Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant. http://tfl.nu/28ci
  Replies (2) Good night (643) Bad night (3085)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself

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  (312): if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself http://tfl.nu/z0gj
  Replies (57) Good night (594) Bad night (5963)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..

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  (240): Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro.. http://tfl.nu/x02q
  Replies (15) Good night (2902) Bad night (894)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.

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  (403): Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon. http://tfl.nu/v8j0
  Replies (2) Good night (2090) Bad night (1064)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?

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  (602): I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!? http://tfl.nu/p185
  Replies (8) Good night (896) Bad night (2245)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.

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  (847): Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring. http://tfl.nu/5gh0
  Replies (3) Good night (1563) Bad night (828)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.

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  (860): I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS. http://tfl.nu/9u6p
  Replies (9) Good night (1501) Bad night (660)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.

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  (360): Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people. http://tfl.nu/w1ks
  Replies (33) Good night (3048) Bad night (957)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.

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  (214): Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too. http://tfl.nu/2rql
  Replies (2) Good night (707) Bad night (246)

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