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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Five things that make you perfect. Go.

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I hate that ur telling me this.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.

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• 

  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities

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• (831): View more from California

  Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (417): View more from Missouri

  I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.

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• (986): View more from

  He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?

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• (661): View more from California

  I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  ILLEGAL

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• (559): View more from California

  Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.

  Fav 5 95 10

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