Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just high enough for therapy.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
