We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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