Sponge bath it is.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize