I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
