It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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