I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
