I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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