mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
this will be a night to untag.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
