so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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