I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
