He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she peed on how many people?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
