this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
