I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
When did angry sex become our thing?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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