We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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