So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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