I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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