You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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