I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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