i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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