Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
