we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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