I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
