i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
