Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
