Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
