The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize