god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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