He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
