I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
