The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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