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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
