Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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