Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
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he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
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he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny