It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
