Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.