Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?

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(440): oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill? http://tfl.nu/149i

Replies (85) Good night (991) Bad night (7413)
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(480): View more from Arizona

ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result

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(480): ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result http://tfl.nu/ejuh

Replies (25) Good night (635) Bad night (3418)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.

(856): View more from New Jersey

Restraining orders are what college is about.

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(775): He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it. (856): Restraining orders are what college is about. http://tfl.nu/sfmu

Replies (25) Good night (811) Bad night (5433)
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(352): View more from Florida

never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..

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(352): never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party.. http://tfl.nu/fqwv

Replies (14) Good night (6552) Bad night (966)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.

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(647): Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar. http://tfl.nu/rv9o

Replies (27) Good night (1201) Bad night (9770)
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(909): View more from California

I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine

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(909): I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine http://tfl.nu/d6oy

Replies (10) Good night (4705) Bad night (2091)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?

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(313): Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was? http://tfl.nu/iwh3

Replies (4) Good night (2359) Bad night (1004)
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(937): View more from Ohio

She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy

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(937): She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy http://tfl.nu/3zlc

Replies (9) Good night (1164) Bad night (2979)
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(443): View more from Maryland

also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs

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(443): also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs http://tfl.nu/bzfk

Replies (3) Good night (2278) Bad night (888)
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(714): View more from California

I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?

(949): View more from California

Midgetier?

(714): View more from California

Smaller, yet meaner.

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(714): I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic? (949): Midgetier? (714): Smaller, yet meaner. http://tfl.nu/nr7w

Replies (12) Good night (3993) Bad night (829)
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(802): View more from Vermont

"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..

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(802): "I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked.. http://tfl.nu/jof4

Replies (4) Good night (786) Bad night (395)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.

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(870): I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting. http://tfl.nu/ibtm

Replies (9) Good night (705) Bad night (531)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?

(816): View more from Missouri

Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.

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(573): Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls? (816): Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do. http://tfl.nu/ewbx

Replies (2) Good night (1153) Bad night (298)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.

(605): View more from South Dakota

When was that?

(515): View more from Iowa

Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.

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(515): Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy. (605): When was that? (515): Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy. http://tfl.nu/qcf9

Replies (9) Good night (614) Bad night (994)
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(512): View more from Texas

The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.

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(512): The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting. http://tfl.nu/6bg7

Replies (2) Good night (406) Bad night (231)

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