Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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