So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
That reminds me...we need to get swords
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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